Wednesday, July 7, 2010

How heavy is it?

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Have you ever noticed how bad stuff gets more attention than good stuff? It weighs more somehow. Why is this?
My husband and I were in travelling with a group in Germany when we found ourselves in the midst of a fight, over something silly, yet it absorbed all our attention. We didn't notice the glistening snow, or the beautiful forest or our smoky cold breath hanging in the icy air. We talked and thought all about this problem we had with these people.
When we became aware that we were immersed in this crap, we asked why... the key is asking good questions....and we could see a pattern, that when ever there is a problem it gets more of our attention. More than when there is something good happening.
We put it down to a biological legacy driven by the need to survive. Back in "cave man" days problems had to be solved to ensure the survival of the social group.  But the problems we were giving all our emotional attention and energy were not a matter of survival, they were just plain silly. What amazed us is how we had got sucked into this emotional vortex. And we got out. We stopped focusing on this silly problem, decided what we would do, and got on with more enjoyable things.
People are much more motivated by pain than pleasure, sad but true. You get much more attention if you're "clinically depressed,' rather than coping and thriving! You buy newspapers and magazines that relish bad news. It's so intriguing when someone else has cocked up! Media magnets know this so well. They make millions from our inherent interest in bad stuff.
But at the end of the day it is a CHOICE. Your choice. What you invest your emotional energy in defines you. Ask yourself, what are you choosing to focus on and what meaning are you giving it? Are these thoughts dragging you down or building you up? Choose to build. Reject thoughts that destroy. Learn whatever lesson is there for you and then move on. Your emotional energy is just as important as your physical vitality. Are you fat and lazy with your thinking? Are you feeding your brain junk food?
Become aware of what your brain and thinking is consuming and producing. What are you reading and listening to? Is it building or destroying you? What are you thinking, positive or negative?
My son had a bad dream when he was little. He was frightened to go back to sleep again. As I sat with him he visualised the bad dream, then we got a big black imaginary marker and drew a big black imaginary cross right over those bad thoughts. We crossed them right out. He realised he had POWER to CHOOSE what he was thinking about and to turn off destructive frightening thoughts. This was an amazingly simple, powerful life lesson and he uses it all the time.
Personally, I restrict the news I listen to, the people I let into my inner circle, the amount of advertising I see. I have chosen the place I live to give me peace and serenity. I read and view television and internet content selectively and I minimise the time I spend there. I am discerning. I exercise rigorously my right to CHOOSE what my mind consumes. This discipline frees me to create the life I want.
The bad stuff can consume a disproportionate weight of your attention. That's natural as you learn the lesson, but don't get stuck enjoying the dramatic weight of bad stuff. Move on.   
4me2realize helps you become aware of the weight and impact of your thinking. Use it regularly to exercise your right to choose, the discipline to create the life you want to realize.
 Kindest regards

Castaly Lombe -  Chief of Makin' Things Happen
Director Anti-Chaos Systems Pty Ltd

"Be the change you want to see in the world." Mahatma Gandhi
Phone +61 1 300 344 070

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