Do you have a mental crap cupboard?

After a lovely breakfast in bed prepared by my teenage son I cleaned up the linen cupboard on Mother’s Day last. Not very glamorous, but revealing.

There’s a huge pile for the church jumble sale. What struck me was the excess; 2 feather quilts, 4 wool blankets, 5 sleeping bags, 10 pillows and cushions, 30 sheets, 16 pillowcases, 15 towels, 3 mattress protectors and a box of toys and clothes. It was a miracle the cupboard didn’t explode! How did this happen? How did I accumulate all this stuff I didn’t need?

I learnt a lot from cleaning the linen cupboard, because I think we all have crappy cupboards.... do you recognise these symptoms?

• It’s been building up for years.
• But you push it to the background, out of sight out of mind
• It annoys you
• But you never can manage the motivation to do something about it
• It seems bigger than it is
• It affects you every day (every time I went to that cupboard it was a nightmare)
• It makes your life a misery
• You tell yourself you’ll fix it tomorrow
• It’s making your life messy
• You don’t need it
• But you hold onto it out of a false sense of security
• You know how to fix it

This cupboard is an analogy for a lot of behaviour we do. Behaviour that doesn’t serve us but we seem incapable of changing.

If you are struggling with a crappy cupboard of your own.... weight loss, bad moods, anger, shyness, poor relationships, financial problems, etc... then it helps if you can understand, the problem isn’t the problem, it’s your behaviour that’s the problem.

The good news is you can change your behaviour. Psychologists have defined the steps of change that occur and you can use these to clean out your own emotional crap cupboards. First you have to believe three things;

1. This must change NOW; link pain to NOT changing and pleasure to changing to help motivate action.
2. I must change it now; take ownership /responsibility for the problem within yourself.
3. I can change it; the past does not = the future, believe you can.

Then you must take action. Again there are 3 steps;
1. Leverage. Get leverage on yourself. Associate massive, immediate and unbearable levels of pain if you don’t change now.
Change is never a matter of ability, it is a matter of motivation.
If you CAN’T then you MUST

“Oh, I can’t do that” – watch out for the power of our words/thoughts.
“Oh, I could try that” - better words, but not fully committed.
“Oh, I could do that” – best effect, empowering and enabling.

2. Interpret the pattern
Be aware of what you are doing. To change a behaviour pattern, first you must recognise it. If you have been doing it for years, it may take doing something radical or ridiculous to jolt your awareness of the pattern. Set up something that you will do every time you start playing the old pattern. I know one person who would simply lie down on the ground! Very hard to take your old excuses seriously when you are horizontal unexpectedly in a public! This might not be for you, but you get the idea.... Before you start something new, recognise the old.

3. Create an empowering alternative, swap the bad habit for a good habit
Replace the old pattern with an empowering, more fulfilling, rewarding alternative. Reinforce, practice, and train yourself to do the new pattern, so you become addicted to it. That way you are not depriving yourself. For example I broke the coffee habit by replacing it with beautiful herbal teas. I didn’t deprive myself, I just replaced one bad habit with a good one. Now I love my green tea pot ritual. Replace don’t deny. It’s too hard to break an old pattern, just replace it with a new more rewarding pattern.

If it doesn’t work – don’t give up. Try again BUT do something different!

Stupidity is doing the same thing that didn’t work, over again.

Change, do again, doesn’t work, change, try something different. The massively successful are those who have had the most failures. Be persistent. Fail faster. Welcome your failures as lessons to be learned, dance with your fear of failure. Experience comes from bad experiences.

There are 5 elements of change, the chemistry of transformation. Remember addiction is a big scary word for a bad habit. Good news, you can get addicted to good habits

1. Satiation – You really have had enough. If you haven’t, try overdosing on your bad thing.
2. Get dissatisfied with the crap you are doing. It doesn’t give you the rewards anymore.
3. Get to the threshold where change becomes an absolute MUST, don’t look backwards, look forwards.
4. Get an insight, awareness of your bad habit/problem/issue and realize you can’t blame others , that you can do something yourself and that it will transform your life.
5. Jump through the opening. Take action. Face your fears, dance with them. Do something, ring someone, pledge someone, break the cycle, replace the habit. Take massive action. People are rewarded in public from what they practice massively in private. Your crap cupboard is very private. You can talk the talk and never walk the walk.

I found an understanding of mastery helped me when I was making changes. There are 3 steps, and often we get stuck on step one!

1.Cognative Mastery. Intellectual understanding. Knowing is not enough. Everyone knows stuff they don’t do, or should do
2. Emotional Mastery. There are emotional consequences to what you know, and what you do.
• Do you remember where you were when 9/11 happened?
• When someone very dear or a loved one died?
The memory is clear because of the emotional intensity attached to the event. The more emotional intensity you can attach - the more you learn.
3. Physical Mastery. It gets into your body and once it gets into your body you can do it easily. Repetition also helps.

If you want to change the crap in your cupboard / behaviours that don’t serve you – write out all the reasons WHY it is a must. The Why comes FIRST. The How comes 2nd. Reasons come first – answers come 2nd. Once you know why you must do it, you work out how you can do it. Add emotions, the more intense the better.

Imagine what life would be like if you don’t change, double, triple and quadruple that feeling…. Imagine life when you do change, double, triple and quadruple that feeling….
Now you have emotional intensity to help motivate you. Emotions give you intensity. Intensity gives you leverage.

Involve other people. Find people who want you to improve and stick with them. You don’t need friends who only feel secure when you are doing bad stuff. Let them deal with their own crap cupboard.

Now I must run, I’m off to the church jumble sale. My linen excess will keep people warm this winter. That’s a great feeling. And I’m loving my new tidy cupboard. Life is so much more fulfilling, easy, rewarding, satisfying and happy, with clean cupboards!

All of these principles are made easy in 4me2realize. If you want to seriously change your life, get a system that makes it easier.

Kind regards

Cas

How to Get and Stay Motivated

This week a friend asked me how I keep fit and slim. Well it’s isn’t one miracle solution, that’s for sure. But there are probably 4 principles; 

1. eat less better food
2. exercise more less strenuously
3. Be consistent over time
4. Be disciplined over time

So now you know, but how do you MOTIVATE yourself to do this? What makes people jump out of bed and passionately pursue their dreams? What keeps that internal fire of motivation burning bright and keeping you moving towards what you want, even when the going gets tough? 

Some people appear “naturally” motivated, but the truth is it’s a learned skill and anyone can do it.

Here’s a great list that could help you;

Know what you want AND WHY

Things don’t motivate you, feelings do! You want a new house? Analyse why you want this, feeling secure, feeling “at home,” enjoying decorating, not worrying about rent and moving. All these are feelings. Identify the feelings you want from your goal and use these intense emotional feelings to motivate you. One way to get really intense feelings is to visualise yourself getting what you want, deeply imagine yourself, the colours, the sounds, the smells, the tastes, the feel on your skin, when you achieve what you want. This also activates your subconscious mind and sets it up to “see” the opportunities that will help you achieve your goals.

Write down your goals.

Again you are activating your mind, by slowing it down to write, to get very clear about what you want and WHY you want it. Some people find adding deadlines help and getting very specific about what you want can also be very motivating. Do what motivates you.

Set rewards

Nothing worthwhile is easy, so sometimes your motivation will be tested. Make sure you set congruent rewards when you achieve milestones. Congruent means, if you lose 5kg’s – go to the movies! Don’t eat cake. If you buy a house, have a wonderful house warming party and celebrate your achievement. Even small rewards along the way can help you keep motivated. Remember the rewards will be specific to you so spend some time finding rewards that motivate you!

Share your goals with people that will support you.

Having a buddy who will keep you honest and motivated is a great asset. Most people would be flattered if asked to assist. But be warned, some people will not. Some people are threatened by your plans. Chose your friends and who you share with very carefully and avoid negative people.

Use negative emotion

Most people are more motivated by pain than pleasure, sad but true. You can use this to help you get motivated! Imagine what will happen if you don’t do what you have planned. Imagine the pain and multiply it several times. Get sad or angry, teary or depressed. Do not back away from feeling very intensely these negative emotions and how hurt and disappointed you will FEEL if you don’t carry out your planned ACTIONS.

Follow this exercise with positive visualisation so you don’t stay in a negative state!

Keep Focused on what you want

Think about what you want every day, day dream, and journal, note your small progress towards your big goals. Make sure you NOTICE your progress because this will help you STAY motivated and keep your MOMENTUM.

Resolving laziness, procrastination and self sabotage

These can all limit your motivation. The first thing is to become AWARE of this in you actions. Working out why can be hard because often you are doing it unconsciously. You miss a lecture, you drink too much, or you stay on the couch without being aware of what you are doing. GET AWARE. The best way again is by journaling, slow down your thinking and analyse your actions.

Often being lazy, procrastination and self sabotage is a BIG SIGN - there is incongruence. For example; you want to get fit, but running makes you sore; you want to start a business but you hate losing money. These contrary emotions will result in a neutralisation of your emotional, motivational drivers.

Only you can resolve the mental tug of war. If you want to get fit, but running makes you sore, do something else, there are 1000’s of fitness activities to chose and enjoy. If you want to run a business but you hate losing money, you have to address your fear, learn to live with it, learn to minimise risks in business (yes it can be done) or set a new agenda.

There is no point fighting yourself! It is a waste of energy and it will definitely sidetrack you from what you want.

Finally and MOST IMPORTANTLY

Make sure what you want, is aligned with who you are and want to be. If you want to be a basket ball star but you hate training, it’s just not going to work! This sounds so obvious, but many people head off on their journey without FIRST defining who they want to be and only half way through realize that there is poor alignment in what they want and who they are... the best place is to start with a defining life purpose and work from there, then at least you’ll know you are heading in the right direction.

And it is never too late to start.

All these principles are incorporated in 4me2realize.

Realize your Resolutions - Make Your New Year’s Resolve STICK

This article is 778 words and will take you less than 2 minutes to read.

From the team at Anti Chaos Systems we wish you a joyous, festive and blessed Christmas season and a wonderful year 2010 realizing your dreams!

Wednesday 22 December 2009, From my Michelago desk, watching bushfires burn!

G’day

New Year’s is traditionally a time when we make a list of “resolutions” that we want to achieve in the coming year.

Do you have your list for 2009? Did you achieve some, all or none of your list? Or have you given up on making resolutions so you don’t need to worry about failing? Or has someone else set your resolutions for you like in this cartoon?

Google New Year’s Resolutions and there are 2 million web sites promising to help you keep that resolution. Yet many people fail to keep a single resolution. Why is this? Why do our good intentions fizzle out?

New Year’s resolutions are like to-do lists. On their own they do not work. This missing ingredient is MOTIVATION!

How can you get a stay motivated to achieve your resolutions?

You MUST have an inspiring, powerful, emotionally intense reason WHY. And those Reasons must align with WHO you are.

Often we make resolutions because we think we should. We are driven by obligation, duty, fashion, politics or other people. None of these are going to be long lasting motivators.

What you want to find is a deep emotional driver from within yourself, something that is going to “turn you on” for a long time!

The most common resolutions include, lose weight, manage debt, get a better job, quit smoking, drink less alcohol, reduce stress.

These are good goals but don’t make them if you don’t have the motivating, inspiring why. Empty promises, like unfulfilled resolutions can sap your confidence and undermine your progress.

Here’s something to ponder, make ONLY ONE commitment – to take time to make your resolutions carefully.

Here’s some suggestions, please make some time for yourself over the holiday season and try this;

• Write a list of a few (say 5) resolutions.
• Write 5 reasons why for each resolution.
• Describe the feelings you want.
• Take time, reflect, dig deep within yourself.

Then think about how does each resolution create the person you want to be? What is required emotionally for you to achieve this?

What must you discard in your thoughts, feelings, actions? Connect with your spirit as you visualize yourself achieving this goal. Intensely feel the emotions, these are your motivators! The stronger you feel, the easier it will be to achieve your resolutions! When you get waylaid, just repeat the exercise, it is mental exercise, no sweat involved! And the more you exercise, the stronger your mental attitude gets.

I have a friend who each year spends two days camped by the river doing this exercise. My friend is wise and knows that this solitary time of reflection and introspection will create a better future and she dedicates the time fitting for the task. She always comes back, suntanned and inspired! And her family are always pleased to see her back because she is happy and positive.

Often we get caught up in the busyness of life. Contemplative time becomes a victim, yet it is this thinking time that can save us from stress and it’s multitude of related modern diseases. Take time for yourself and think though the WHY’s that will motivate you to succeed.

A lot of people baulk from doing this exercise because it sounds like hard work, but when you get started, it is FUN. It’s like being a kid in the toy store before Christmas and being told, you can have anything you want How good would that feel?

All of this process is very easy in 4me2realize, because the software systematically walks you through it and not just on New Year’s Eve but every day you use it, making your chances of success even better. Perhaps you should make it your New Year’s resolution to try this software.

Why not try it now, click here to try it with a 60 day money back guarantee.

4me2realize 60 Days FREE TRIAL

And if you order now you’ll get 3 months of free on-line support and a year of FREE upgrades.

P.s. We are going to take a break over Christmas. So I will write again in the new year. Looking forward to talking with you then.

Yours Sincerely

Cas

An Overview of this Powerful Tool

The software covers nearly everything you need to know about creating a driving, inspiring purpose and how to live everyday according to that visionary purpose, things like:

• Who you need to be to achieve your purpose
• What drives you to make goal getting easy
• What you must avoid to achieve your goals
• What goals and projects you need to do to achieve your purpose
• An automatic reminder system to keep you on track
• A journal to keep you focused and aligned to you purpose, goals, and projects
• A easy to use systems to track your Progress
• A great way to remember the magic moments in your life
• A tool to quickly create a personal reference of your life’s wisdom that you could use every day.

In addition, every feature in the software is there because it has been proven to work. Hundreds of experts have written about goal setting, life design and contemplative journaling. This systems incorporates all these proven strategies into one, easy to use, integrated, web accessible software system.

• Your driving, inspiring, motivating and meaningful life purpose, your dreams and visions of a better life, with
• Your goals and projects, what you do every day, with
• Your contemplative reflection, in an exciting process of self evaluation and improvement.

4me2realize is a great way to make sure the things you do will create the person you want to be, rather than letting life dictate what you will become. 4me2realize is your secret weapon for incorporating the BIG picture into the small details that you must do every day.
For your eyes only
4me2realize is web-based software and “for your eyes only”. You can access it anywhere you go through the internet and it is more secure than having it on a personal laptop. At the moment, 4me2realize is compatible with Internet Explorer 6 and above.

It is a culmination of a lot of what modern psychology teaches us about goal setting, life design and journaling, COMBINED with the power and accessibility of a private DATABASE in a software tool that you can start using quickly and easily

4me2realize has 7 shortcuts for 

• Easily tracking what you want, with what you do
• Aligning everything you do with your Life's Purpose
• Using Journaling to achieve clarity
• Minimising things that stop or slow you down
• Maximising motivators that help & drive you forward
• Creating habits of enlightenment as you contemplate your life
• Realizing WHY you want something so that it is easy and fun to achieve

4me2realize is a great way to make sure the things you do will create the person you want to be, rather than letting life dictate what you will become. 4me2realize is your secret weapon for incorporating the BIG picture into the small details that you must do every day.